Peter Pan Modern AU
by theflamingfangirl
Summary: Jane Darling never wanted to go to boarding school. She doesn't have any friends, a roommate, or even a real room. Not to mention the irritating group of boys that can't seem to leave her alone. Peter Pan modern AU, high school based, rated T for language and possibly adult themes. Slight OC, Jane as daughter of Wendy (which is actually mentioned in the book).
1. Chapter 1

The sky was as gray and dismal as the prospect of the new school. Jane Darling had thought boarding school was a bad idea from the beginning, especially a school on the other side of the world. She only played along because her mother had been planning for Jane to go to the same prep school _she _had gone to for practically Jane's entire life. Her mother had been blabbing about how spectacular the school was for the entire plane ride _and _car trip. If Jane heard one more story about the year the football team won the championship, she was going to jump out the window of the rented van while it was still moving.

"Oh, I remember how_ wonderful_ that school was," her mother told her for the eight millionth time. "You'll have so much fun, Jane, and you'll make loads of new friends."

"Yes, Mum," she grumbled. "You've told me. Magical experiences, new friends, the adventure of my lifetime, etcetera. But are we completely positive this is the right school for me? I mean Neverland Academy? Even the name is stupid. It just doesn't seem practical."

"Don't be silly, dear," Wendy scolded. "You know, you've really got to stop acting so cynical. Have some fun; you're sixteen."

"I'm quite aware of my age. Youth is a curse I have to bear."

Wendy sighed. "Is this about your father? You know that he wants this for you. He'll still call you just the same, and you'll be home with Danny and I by the time he comes back-"

"No, it isn't about dad," Jane interrupted. It was basically true. She knew that logically, nothing would really change; her dad would still be far away and she still wouldn't get to see him until the summer; what she was worried about was her mother and Danny. Her father had told Jane to look after them when he'd deployed the year before, and it was going to be difficult to do that when they were in London and she was living in Massachusetts.

"Oh my, we're here!" her mother gasped. "Isn't it gorgeous?"

Jane surveyed the campus through the window. Huge, leafy trees shaded the red brick buildings and grassy open space, and over a hill, she could see a soccer field, tennis courts, and a swimming pool. Students wearing the navy and green uniforms sat at the cluster of stone picnic tables surrounding a huge fountain. "_Eh_. I mean it's fine, I guess."

Wendy pulled the car in front of the J. Rogers Administration Building, where upper student registration was supposedly located. "Are you excited, Jane? This is the place where you'll study until you graduate. Aside from vacations, you'll be living here for two years. Doesn't that seem just a little bit cool to you?"

Jane stepped out of the car and began ascending the stone steps. "Yeah it's super cool, Mum. Whatever."

The registration was pretty dull. There were a lot of papers to be signed, a lot of forms to be filled out, and a lot of freshman. In fact, Jane was the only new student registering for the junior class. Wendy had tried to persuade her daughter to begin attending Neverland when she was fourteen, but Jane had insisted that it would be better if she finished year eleven first, so that she would begin school in America as her classmates started sixth form. Two years later, that decision left Jane the only incoming junior in the entire school.

"Excuse me," a man in front of the desk announced. "Excuse me, thank you. Once the paperwork has been completed, parents should start making their way out. Please begin bidding your children farewell. Thank you."

"I suppose this is goodbye, then," Jane began. "I promise to call at least twice, and I'll-" she was suddenly smothered by the embrace of her mother.

"I'm just going to miss you so much," Wendy murmured, squeezing Jane as tight as she could.

Jane hugged her back. "I'll miss you too, Mum."

After her mother finally drove away, Jane approached the desk with her paperwork. "Hello, I'm Jane. I'll be a junior this year."

The man at the desk, who was short and rather heavyset, looked up nervously. "Um… yes ma'am. I'm Mr. Smee, Deputy Headmaster, um… Jane Darling, is it?"

Jane nodded and Mr. Smee handed her a stack of papers. "You'll be in the Barrie building in room... zero"

"Room zero? That's pretty strange, don't the numbers usually start at one? Would you mind telling me who my roommate is?" Getting a roommate was one of the few things she'd kind of been looking forward to. Living with someone for a year seemed like a pretty sure-fire way to make friends.

Mr. Smee wrung his hands nervously. "Well, you see, normally returning students submit dorm request forms at the end of the previous year, which all of the girls did. So, because everyone already has a dorm partner, you will be… by yourself."

"I'll be in a dorm by myself?" Jane repeated in disbelief.

"Well it's not a dorm, exactly," Smee admitted. "It's actually in the basement of one of the dorm buildings. We used to use the space for storage; in fact, half of the room is _still_ being used for storage, but we've moved a bed, nightstand, desk, and chair down there."

Jane blinked. "So… what you're telling me, is that you've gone and put me, not only alone, but in the cellar? Which we now refer to as room _zero._"

"Well, yes, but you'll have the most space of any other student, _and_ your own bathroom, so really it's just a trade-off."

"Is there at least an elevator or something?"

"No, you'll have to climb down two flights of stairs."

"Well that's just fantastic." Slowly, Jane gathered her paperwork, picked up her suitcase, and headed towards the door

"There may or may not be some rodent traps down there," Smee called after her, "but don't be alarmed, they're only precautionary!"

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Mr. Smee had been telling her the truth; there _were_ two flights of stairs for her to lug her duffel bag and suitcase down. There was a significant amount of dust and cobwebs hanging in the air. When she finally reached the bottom, she got the first look at where she was going to be living for the next eight months.

The room was dimly-lit, dusty, and made entirely of concrete. On one side, various bins and boxes were piled against the wall. She assumed this is what Mr. Smee had meant by the school still using half of her room for storage. On the other side, however, there was a bed, a nightstand, a desk and a chair, just like she had been promised. The only light came from a tiny light bulb hanging over her bed and a small dusty window that had been barred off.

"Great," Jane said to no one in particular. "Now I can't even escape." She tossed her duffel bag onto her bed in a huff. Her bed shook and wheezed before collapsing in a cloud of dust.

"WHAT. THE. HELL," Jane shouted. She examined the wreckage to see if anything was salvageable. The wooden frame had given out, and she doubted that it could be repaired, but the mattress seemed to be fine. In no time, she'd dragged the mattress off of the broken bed frame and gathered all of the wood into a pile on the other side of the basement. Sleeping on a bare mattress on the floor was not ideal, but she could make do, at least until they could bring her another bed. Jane made up her bed with the bedding her mother had bought her. Her new comforter was patterned like a galaxy, and it became the most attractive part of her entire room.

By the time she had set up all of her things, the sky had gone dark, leaving the basement even more poorly lit than it had been before. Her phone told her it was only seven thirty, but Jane was tired and decided to just go to bed anyways. She changed into sweatpants and a tee shirt, brushed her teeth, and climbed into her bed; after a long day of traveling, she was beyond ready to go to sleep.

She would have done so, too, if not for the rustling and banging coming from the ceiling. Jane stood up to go check out the spot where the noise was coming from; a ventilation shaft in the far corner of the basement. Suddenly the grating over the shaft was shoved aside and six boys dropped out of her ceiling onto a stack of boxes. They all looked to be about her age. They laughed loudly as they dropped out of the ceiling, talking about football or soccer or whatever they called it in this stupid country.

"What are you doing in my bedroom?!" Jane shouted at them, looking horrified. The laughing died down instantly as they all turned around to look at her. A boy who appeared to be the leader of their little gang looked at her slowly, his eyes moved quickly across her, like he was sizing her up. He had reddish-brown hair and a spray of freckles across his nose. He looked at Jane like he was both surprised and offended by her presence

"What the hell are you doing here?" he said.


	2. Chapter 2

"I asked you first, asshole," Jane retorted, crossing her arms over her chest. "You and your blokes dropped out of the ceiling; I believe I deserve an explanation!"

The lead boy looked offended. "Don't look at me like this is my fault! We've been hanging around in this basement for years, and now some mean British chick's gone and moved in. What are you even doing down here?"

"This is my room!" Jane cried. "I _live_ here!"

"You live here? In the basement?" He took a step back "Are you a hobo?"

"No, I'm not a hobo!" Jane huffed. "I go to school here! I'm a student!"

"They put you in the basement?" another boy asked. He grimaced sympathetically. "That's rough."

"Yeah," Jane agreed, "and it's hard enough as it is without having to worry about hooligans crashing through the air ducts!"

"We're not hooligans," their leader countered, opening one of the cardboard boxes pulling out lawn chairs. The other boys followed his lead and began tearing through the other boxes, pulling out chips, sodas, pillows, a speaker, a camping lantern, and some other things.

"What are you _doing_!?" Jane exclaimed.

A tall, blond boy looked at her and cocked his head. "Setting up our stuff? You can't expect us to sit on the floor."

"I don't expect you to sit anywhere!" Jane hissed. "You can't stay here; this is my room, now!"

The lead boy looked around. "No, _that_ half is your room. This half is still storage, so you have no claim over it. Therefore, we have as much right to be here on this side of the room as you do."

"You do not!" Jane protested.

The boy merely shrugged and continued to ignore her. Jane examined him more carefully than she had before; he had high cheek bones, brown eyes, dark eyebrows, and a crooked grin. His most prominent feature was probably his hair; messy and the approximate shade of old pennies.

"You can't just barge in and set up camp down here," Jane tried again. "I don't even know you!"

"I'm Peter. Peter Pan," The red haired boy said, sticking out his hand. "These are my Lost Boys."

"Jane." She turned to look at the rest of the boys. "So you're called 'the Lost Boys'? Do you have names?"

Peter grinned proudly. "That's Slightly, Nibs, Toodles, the Twins, and Cubby."

"_Those _are your names?" Jane asked the boys. "How'd you end up with names like that?"

The dark haired boy who Peter had addressed as Toodles stepped forward. "Those aren't our real names, of course. We're all on a soccer team together, and Peter just likes nicknames."

"Well, what _are_ your real names?"

"My name is Tony Dillanson," the boy told her, "and this is Simon Haines, Will Nibb, Max and Nick Johnson, and Bobby Clifford."

"Thank you, Tony. Is there any chance you and your friends could leave so I could go to sleep?"

Tony looked down at his watch. "It's only seven forty-two."

Jane sighed. "Yes. I know what time it is. Could you leave anyways?"

"I'm sorry, probably not," Tony told her, looking genuinely apologetic. "Peter's really stubborn, and we've been hanging out down here nearly every night for five years. I just don't think you'll be able to convince him to leave willingly. You _could _tell on us, of course, and get a teacher to force us out, I doubt they'll catch us though. It'll take you, like, twenty minutes to climb all the stairs and go bring a teacher back down, we'll be long gone by then."

Jane scowled. The blonde boy, Will, patted the chair between him and Peter. Grudgingly, she took a seat, arms folded tightly over her chest.

"So Jane," Peter said. "Care for a snack? A drink? A beer?"

"You keep your beer down here." Jane closed her eyes. "Of course you keep your beer in my room."

The boys all laughed, Peter smiled at her "Well obviously we have beer. We also have vodka, wine coolers, tequila, and a bottle of sake, but we're saving that one for a special occaision."

"I'll take a Coke, thanks," Jane grumbled.

"What grade are you in, Jane," Peter asked her, still grinning broadly

"I'm a junior," she informed him.

Peter looked surprised. "Really? You're in the same grade as us then. I assumed you were a freshman; since you're so short, and you've got that whole schoolgirl-bob going on."

Jane ran a hand through her hair. "Well, I assumed you were an asshole, it looks like I was right about that one."

"I didn't mean to offend you," Peter laughed. "But you _do _have a schoolgirl-bob, and you _are _really short. I mean, what are you, five foot three?"

"Five two," she mumbled, glaring at him.

Peter smirked. "So what brings you to good old Neverland Academy? With that accent, you can't be from around here."

"I'm not," Jane told him. "I'm from Kensington."

The boys stared at her blankly; she sighed in exasperation. "It's in London. In England."

"Why are you here, then?" Bobby asked. "We're kind of far away from where you live."

"My mother went to school here when she was a girl," Jane told them. "It's always been her dream to send me here, though frankly, I'd rather be back home. I don't care much for boarding schools. Or Americans."

"We're not_ all_ bad," Will protested.

"Well then, you haven't represented your country that well so far. Judging by you guys, Americans are loud, rude, annoying, dick heads," Jane informed him. "Here's to hoping the rest of the country is better."

"It's not, really," Tony said glumly. "Not at this school, anyways."

Jane leaned in. "Why? What are the people at the school like?"

"Most of the kids here are rich snobs," Peter told her. "The guys are all jerks, and the girls are prissy and spoiled. In my humble opinion, the Lost Boys are the only decent group of people in the entire school. If you hang around with us, I could show you how to navigate the complicated social structure of Neverland Academy."

"But I don't_ want_ to 'navigate the social structure,'" Jane protested. "Look, no offense, but I'm not really looking to join your gang, or anyone's gang, for that matter. I just want to go to my classes, keep my head down, and survive until I can go home."

Peter looked surprised. "You… _don't_ want our help? Are you sure?"

"Positive," Jane said. "As I stated earlier, I really just want you to leave me alone. I mean, do you ever plan on climbing back up through your hole in the ceiling. We have classes tomorrow morning, and according to the schedule they gave me, breakfast is a seven. I am exhausted, and I just want to go to bed."

"It's barely eight o clock." Peter opened a can of soda. "C'mon, Janey. Sit with us a while."

Jane sank back into her chair. "Fine, if you promise to never call me 'Janey' again, you may stay here a little while longer. And after tonight, I don't want to see you here again, alright?"

Peter grinned. "You've got yourself a deal."


	3. Chapter 3

Apparently, Peter was not too keen on actually keeping his promises, as he and the Lost Boys continued to hang around in Jane's dorm room. Nearly every night. For several hours. The evening would usually start out with Jane protesting and attempting to chase them out with a lacrosse stick or a crowbar or a mop; then they would set up their lawn chairs and snacks and go right on ahead with their business. At some point, the boys began to consider Jane a part of their gang; so they started to sit next to her at lunch, walk with her in the halls, and study with her after school. Spending so much time around the boys allowed Jane to get to know them better. After she got past the initial layer of teenage boy, they were all actually pretty nice guys.

Will, a forward on the school's soccer team, was basically a Disney prince: blonde, tall, well-liked, and extremely polite. He was dating a really nice girl named Lily, and they were generally regarded as the cutest couple in the school since the seventh grade; Jane wouldn't have been surprised if they ended up getting married. Simon was witty and sarcastic, and a pretty aggressive defender despite the fact that he was very thin and preferred playing his clarinet to practicing soccer. He _claimed_ that he only played in the school band because his mother made him, but it wasn't very hard to tell that he secretly loved it. Bobby was the goalie of the team. He was perhaps a bit dopey and clumsy, but he was kind and had a good heart. He desperately wanted to be funny, but the majority of his jokes weren't humorous at all. At first, Max and Nick were difficult for Jane to tell apart, as they both played mid-field on the team and sported identical brown hair, bright eyes, and wide grins, but with a little effort she got the hang of it. While they were both funny and smart, Max was louder and more outgoing where Nick was a bit more reserved, though it seemed to Jane that Nick was actually the leader of the pair. And then there was Tony, Jane's favorite and probably her closest friend. He was kind and smart, with dark hair and long eyelashes, but because he was soft-spoken and shy, he seemed rather insignificant next to the rest of the Lost Boys, a fate he seemed to accept. Tony wasn't very good at soccer; in fact, Jane suspected that Peter only kept him on the team because they were friends. Tony quickly became friends with Jane after she paid him a little bit of attention, which she suspected was occurrence that happened somewhat rarely. After that Tony pretty much followed her around everywhere, but Jane didn't mind; he didn't bother her and she thought he was very sweet.

The only one she had an issue with was Peter. As top goal scorer and captain of their soccer team, the other boys looked up to him as their leader, but Jane found him to be loud, bossy, rude, and arrogant. Peter was constantly bickering with her about the smallest things, and he refused to leave her alone. He strutted around the school like he owned it; just because he was athletic and had dated half the girls in the school. Jane couldn't understand what people saw in Peter; when she looked at him, all she saw was a stuck up dick-head flaunting his stupid cocky grin and washboard abs like he was a king. Jane had him figured out from the moment she met him, and there was no way Peter Pan would ever trick her into thinking he was a good person.

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

By the time October rolled around, Jane had given up completely on getting the boys to find a new place to hang out. At around eight o'clock almost every evening, the Lost Boys came crashing through her ceiling. Today, Will was the first to pop his head through the grate.

"Hello, Jane!" he said cheerfully, dropping gracefully to the floor. "How are you doing tonight?"

"I'm fine, thank you," she responded as the rest of the boys crashed into the room. They quickly set up camp on the floor, grabbed food, and switched on the lantern.

"Hey Jane, did you finish your science homework?" Tony asked.

She shrugged. "I think I'm going to do it during my lunch tomorrow."

"You're lucky you have science after lunch," Max commented. "It's a whole extra hour to finish your homework, and Ms. Crock gives the biggest work load of any of our teachers."

"I know." She grinned. "It's awesome."

"Yeah, seventh period science is pretty much the bomb," Peter said, looking over at Jane. "Right, Physics Buddy?"

Jane rolled her eyes. She was cursed with, not one, but three classes with Peter: Spanish, Math, and Science. He insisted on sitting almost right next to her in every class so he could steal her pencils and pull her hair. It was getting pretty old. "I am not and never will be your Physics Buddy. Nor will I be your Math Buddy, Lunch Buddy, or Su Amigo de Espanol. And if you keep sitting next to me, I will be forced to kick your ass."

Peter put a hand over his heart. "Ouch. That hurt me. It really did."

"Hey Peter," Simon asked. "Are we gonna have practice tomorrow? It's supposed to rain."

"Of course we're gonna have practice."

"It's supposed to be a torrential downpour," Simon protested. "The football team isn't practicing, the cross country team isn't practicing; we're going to be the only people dumb enough to go outside."

"Damnit, Slightly. If you keep complaining we're going to be running tomorrow."

"Swimming is more like it," Simon grumbled.

Peter stood up. "C'mon guys; stop being such sissies. I haven't cancelled a practice all year, and I won't stop because of a little bit of bad weather."

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After twenty minutes of practicing in the pouring rain, the visibility became so bad that Peter admitted defeat. There wasn't much use in holding practice when they couldn't see the ball. Jane had been invited to come observe their practice from underneath an umbrella, and they looked so ridiculous that by the time they gave up, she was laughing so hard that she fell out of her chair.

Back inside the gym, Jane stood in the circle of shivering, sopping wet boys. "Wow Peter, I thought only sissies stayed inside during bad weather."

He glared at her so intensely that she was worried he might hurt his eyes.

"You guys are lucky I'm considerate," Jane told them as she passed out towels. "I nearly didn't bring these so I could watch you shiver and teach you a lesson about listening to the weather reports."

"Thanks Jane," the team chorused.

Jane took a seat next to Peter. "How's it going?"

"You know, you don't have to be so smug. It's not like I made it rain. How could you-"

"PETER!" a voice shrieked from the other side of the room. Jane looked up to see little blond girl wearing fairy wings over her uniform sprint across the gym and throw herself at Peter. "Why are you all wet? Did you go out in the rain? Why'd you do that?"

Peter grinned and lifted the girl onto his lap. "Hey Tink, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with Ms. Hollows?"

"She's next door in the dining hall because it's afternoon snack," the little girl told him. "She said I could come see you as long as we stay in here."

"Who's this?" Jane asked, amused.

"Tink, this is Jane. She's in some of my classes," he told the girl. "Jane, this is my little sister, Tinkerbelle. She's in first grade."

"Tinkerbelle?" Jane repeated. "Is that another one of your nicknames?"

"Not exactly," Peter responded. "Her full name is Patricia Isabella Pan. Now, we could have called her Patty or Trish or Izzy or Bella, but my parents, being the pretentious ass-hats they are, refused to shorten it in any way. But a baby who is learning to talk can't exactly pronounce all the syllables in Patricia Isabella, so at one point she began to call herself Tinkerbelle. I was twelve, and I thought it was hilarious, so I started calling her Tinkerbelle, and I persuaded the nanny to call her Tinkerbelle, too. So now it's her name, though we mostly call her Tink."

"Also it makes me sound like a fairy princess," Tink added matter of factly.

"It most certainly does," Jane agreed.

Tink examined Jane like Peter had when she first met him. The little girl's eyes narrowed. "Are you Peter's girlfriend?"

"God no!" Jane responded. "We're not even really friend friends. Ugh, that's disgusting."

Tink nodded. "Well good. I don't want Peter to get a girlfriend."

"Why not?" Jane asked.

"Because he's _already_ busy with soccer, and school, and his friends, and if he gets a girlfriend too, he won't be able to spend any time with me," Tink explained.

Jane laughed. "Don't worry, I don't think there are any girls who want to date your brother. Not any sane ones, anyways."

"Thank goodness," Tink sighed. "He hardly ever plays with me as it is."

"Hey, that's not true!" Peter protested. "I spent like an hour and half playing with your Barbies last week!"

Tink scoffed. "The way you were doing it hardly counts as playing. You barely even changed their outfits, and when you did, you picked out ugly stuff! I might as well have been by myself."

"You should get back to your class. Let's see…" Peter scanned the room. "TOODLES! Get over here!"

Tony walked over to where they were sitting. "Hey guys. How's my favorite fairy princess?"

"Tony!" Tink scrambled out of Peter's lap and stood up on the table. "My noble steed!"

Tony bowed. "Your majesty."

Peter lifted his little sister onto Tony's back and laughed. "You are to escort the princess back to the dining hall so she may find her class. Leave at once, by decree of the king!"

"Onward!" Tink screeched as Tony trotted out of the room.

"I like her," Jane commented.

Peter smiled. "You and me both."


	4. Chapter 4

Peter Pan 4:

Although the weather had been growing consistently colder since the semester began, Jane felt a bit unprepared when the temperature suddenly plummeted; as though winter had arrived in the middle of October. But there was hardly time to take note of the weather as the teachers increased the workload. Ms. Crock, their physics teacher, was laying it on especially thick, with tests, quizzes, and projects nearly every week. On one particularly cold Friday night, the last school day before an important lab was due, Jane set up a meeting with her teacher to get extra help.

Ms. Crock was actually very nice, but many people were terrified of her. She was an excellent teacher, and most of her students learned a lot from her class, but she was extremely intimidating nonetheless. She always wore a tight bun, a pencil skirt, and very high heels, so high that she seemed to look down on everyone. If you did the work and participated in class, she would probably like you, but if not, you were in trouble. Of all things to know about Ms. Crock, the most important is that you did _not_ want to get on her bad side.

But, she was willing to review material with Jane at eight o'clock on a Friday. Though it took nearly three hours (yes, she was THAT confused about the lab) Jane finally felt confident that she would be able to produce a relatively decent lab report. By the time they were finished, it was dark and the rest of the school was completely empty. Which is why Jane was surprised when someone walked through the door of the science classroom.

"Why is there a student in the school so late at night? Shouldn't the students be back in their dorms by this hour?"

The question came from the school headmaster, Professor Hook; a tall, broad shouldered man with a thick black beard and a penchant for red ties. Hook was in control of the entire faculty, he could change the schedule as he wished, and he was the head of discipline. He was also Peter's arch nemesis. Peter and Hook had despised each other since Peter had first arrived at Neverland Academy as a seventh grader and had accidentally set fire to a dumpster (long story). As much as he disliked him, Hook couldn't expel Peter because Peter's father gave a lot of money to the school every year, and Peter hadn't technically done anything expellable, anything Hook could actually prove him guilty of anyways. So Peter messed with Hook and got lots of detention, but no real consequences. The teachers lived in fear of Hook. Everyone except for Ms. Crack, that is.

"What, might I ask, are you doing in my classroom?" Ms. Crock snapped back. She crossed the room in long confident strides, her heels tapping loudly on the linoleum floor. Click click click click.

Professor Hook flinched. "I was wondering, um, why you were still here with, uh, this student?"

For some reason, Ms. Crock scared him. The rest of the teachers obeyed Hook's every will because he had a nasty habit of firing people who disagreed with him. But as the top performing teacher in the school for six years and running, Ms. Crock had almost complete job security, not to mention the fact that she didn't take shit from anybody. She hated Hook as much as Peter did, if not more, only while Hook hated Peter right back, he ran screaming from Ms. Crock. Rumor had it she nearly got him fired a couple years back and he was afraid she would do it again. More than anyone else in the school, Professor Hook held a permanent spot on her bad side.

"I set up a meeting with Jane to discuss my class," Ms. Crock responded curtly. "Is there an issue with the use of my own classroom to educate a young mind?"

"I-I suppose not?"

"Is that a question?" Ms. Crock walked back across the room to her desk. Click click click click.

Hook winced. "No it isn't."

"Alright, you may show yourself out."

Hook opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it and walked out the door, shutting it softly behind him.

"What an idiot," Ms. Crock muttered. "So, Jane, is that all you needed help with?"

Jane smiled. "Yes, thank you."

"Wonderful." Ms. Crock began gathering up her things. "Have a nice Halloween then."

"Oh right, I forgot about that." Upper school students weren't allowed to wear costumes or celebrate, so the holiday had slipped Jane's mind. She'd never really paid much attention to Halloween anyways. "Well thank you, I'll see you Monday."

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The walk back to her dorm was dark and cold. Her phone had died, so she had very little light to go by as she made her way back to her dorm. She stopped for some mac and cheese on her way back. The dining hall had closed hours ago, but Jane had made friends with a few of the janitors in her first months, so they occasionally bended the rules for her, like allowing her to reheat some leftovers. It had been a long day, in a long week and she really just wanted to get to bed, though she was sure she'd find the boys in her room. Maybe she could convince them to leave her alone for once, or at least talk quietly. But as she descended the stairs to her basement, she heard started to hear music. With a feeling of dread she realized it was coming from her room. Jane flung open the door to see that there were people everywhere. Some of them were dancing. Many were wearing costumes. Most seemed drunk.

"Jane!" Tony grabbed her by the arm. "Hi!"

"What the hell are you doing?" Jane shouted over the noise.

"It's a Halloween party," Tony yelled back. "I texted you about a million times but you didn't respond."

"My phone's dead," she shouted. "Why are you holding a party in my room?"

Tony shrugged. "It's where we have it every year. People would have gotten confused if we changed the location."

Peter suddenly appeared behind her and threw an arm around Jane's shoulders. "Hey it's our buddy Janey! How's it hanging homegirl?"

"Are you drunk?" Jane asked, pushing him off of her.

He laughed. "Maybe a bit."

"He's on beer six," Tony supplied. Jane rolled her eyes.

"Why do you look so appalled?" Peter asked Jane. "What's the matter, haven't you been to a party before?"

"Of course I've been to a party, idiot."

Peter laughed and patted her on the head. "I bet you've never even had a drink."

Jane swatted his hand away angrily. "Oh I have definitely had a drink. Many drinks in fact; I'm from England, remember."

"I don't mean drinks of tea, sweetheart."

"You have a skewed view of the UK, _sweetheart_," Jane snapped. "We know how to drink. Much better than a cock like you, anyways. I definitely don't stumble around making a complete fool of myself."

"Oh yeah?" Peter challenged. "Well for every drink you have, I'm gonna have two."

"That's completely unfair."

"I knew you couldn't do it," Peter taunted.

"No, it's unfair for you. You're already drunk off your arse, you'd be drinking twice as much as me, and I have an incredibly high tolerance for alcohol."

He smirked. "Jane you must weigh like eighty five pounds."

"One hundred and fifteen," she shot back. "I'm like completely muscle. My doctor says it's both mysterious and unhealthy."

"Whatever, I'm doing it."

Jane sighed. "You're stupid and I need a drink."

"Well then I need two." Peter replied with a grin. "Pick your poison."

"Whiskey and coke." Jane grabbed a glass and started mixing herself a drink. "Cheap beer is for frat boys."

"This is going to end very badly," Tony worried.

"Probably." Jane slid a drink across the table to Peter. While staring him directly in the eye she downed her own unflinchingly. Peter looked a little bit surprised, but followed her lead and did the same.

"You're going to lose," Peter taunted.

"I can't lose because I'm not playing your game. You can do whatever you want; I'm not involved," Jane answered. "Though if I was playing, I would win."

Peter laughed condescendingly. "Bring it on, Shortstack. Pour me another."

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One hour and many beverages and many bad decisions later, neither participant had given in. After consuming copious amounts of liquor, Peter was wasted and completely out of it, and Jane, who really did have an unnaturally high alcohol tolerance, was just buzzed enough to find his drunken rambling humorous rather than irritating. Apparently when Peter drank, he talked non-stop using elaborate hand gestures and animated facial expressions.

"Jane? Jane, ya know what I need?"

Jane smirked. "What's that?"

"I needa _girlfriend,_" he slurred. "Right? That'd be totally awesome."

"I'm sure it would be Peter." Jane thought drunk Peter was a lot nicer than regular Peter. He didn't pull her hair, or call her names, or make jokes about her looking like a sixth grader. If nothing else, he was definitely a lot more entertaining; he'd just given a three minute monologue about why he suspected clouds had feelings.

"No but really I wanna girlfriend," Peter restated. "A good one too. Ya know what I mean?"

"Sure, Peter."

"I've hada lot of girlfriends." Peter nodded his head. "Yeah… like a lot of em."

"Uh huh, that's nice." Jane started pouring them another round of drinks.

Peter stared up at the ceiling. "It's like, all of the girls here're like… total sissies. I mean lookat them, they're all prancin' around with their stupid girly-ass dresses an' shit."

"Clothing is not a measure of worth," Jane told him absent-mindedly as she mixed drinks.

"Well, yeah I know that, like whatever." Peter waved his hand dismissively. "But really they're all so silly and petty, ya know? Most of the girls here're so stupid an' they're runnin' around being bitches to each other. I just don't get it."

"You and me both, mate."

"An' they just follow me around, and laugh at everything I say and we make out and shit, well I like that part, but it's just boring as hell. I wanna girl who's interesting to talk to, an' doesn't take shit from people, an' kicks ass, and-"

"That's really nice Peter, have a drink." Jane handed him a cup.

"Remember, I need two. But you just have one an' I need two cause… I need two."

Jane handed him a second glass. "Yeah, I know. I've got you covered."

"Thanks, man. You're really awesome." Peter squinted into the glass. "What's in this?"

"Sprite, vodka, rum, grenadine, and pineapple juice," Jane answered. "It's pretty good."

"Oh okay." Peter took a gulp. "Hey, this is, uh, fruity. Like… ya know…fruits. Yeah. Tastes like fruits."

"Gotcha. You almost ready to slow it down? Maybe take a break, sit down, admit defeat-"

He shook his head. "No way. Feelin' great!"

"Are you sure about that? You're looking rather dazed."

Peter stood up on the table. "Let's PARTY!"

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Another hour passed. Alcohol flowed, Jane mixed drinks, and Peter turned into an incoherent, stumbling mess. Jane had to give him some credit; he wasn't a quitter; but this bout of stubbornness was not doing him any favors. The party was slowly dying down and kids were making their ways back to their dorms. By one thirty, only Jane, Will's girlfriend Lily, and the Lost Boys were left.

"What a night!" Simon sighed as they packed the party stuff back into cardboard boxes. "That's got to be one of our best."

"Totally," Will agreed, before resuming shoving his tongue down his girlfriend's throat. Instead of drinking or dancing or talking to people, Will and Lily had just kissed in a corner for pretty much the entire party. Jane doubted whether it would have mattered to them if there wasn't even was a party going on around them, or if they even would have noticed.

"Yeah, that was awesome," Max said. "I made out Kristy Halk for like ten minutes. What a babe. Even if she's slept with half the school."

"Oh Kristy's really nice," Jane commented, as she lifted a blacklight into a box. "Some people say she's a bit of a slag, but I think that's sexist bullshit. If she wants get with loads of boys, more power to her. Kristy's body, Kristy's rules, right?"

"I know! Nobody'd be giving her shit if she was a guy," Max replied.

"Exactly."

"Well, Nancy Carmichael kissed me and I just kinda stood there," Nick added. "She's cool I guess, though I dunno if I actually want to date her. Whatever. It's just… life, ya know?"

Simon laughed and threw a plastic cup at Nick's head. "You're drunk,"

"He's not as drunk as that one," Bobby said, pointing at Peter.

Peter had lain down on a table and was laughing for no reason and babbling to himself about shoelaces. Tony walked over and poked him. "There's no way we're getting him back through the ceiling. He'll fall and die."

Jane sighed. "I suppose the idiot can stay here if you can't get him back to your room. It's my fault he's smashed anyways."

"Well no one made him drink," Tony argued. "He's just too stubborn for his own good and can't hold his alcohol. How are you so sober, by the way? You've been drinking all night, and Peter's a mess, but you look completely fine."

"My dad comes from a family of bartenders," Jane explained. "Alcohol tolerance runs in the family, and I'm not exactly a stranger to parties, either. Contrary to what you seem to believe, we have some pretty wild ragers back home. I also I ate beforehand and I've been drinking water. I mean, I probably shouldn't drive, but I feel pretty good."

"Sound logic," Tony commented.

"Could you help me get him into the bathroom?" Jane asked, grabbing one of Peter's arms. "I don't want him near me, because I don't like him, and he'll probably be sick anyways."

Tony nodded grimly. "From prior experience as his roommate, I'd say that's a safe bet."

They deposited Peter on the floor of Jane's small bathroom, and he muttered something about his shoe before falling silent. Jane rolled her eyes. "Pathetic drunk bastard. I'll check on him in an hour or so to make sure he's not dead."

"Okay." Tony followed the rest of the boys (and Lily) through the ceiling. "I'll come back down in the morning to retrieve him. Thanks for not making me drag his limp body through the ventilation shafts."

"You owe me," Jane responded, taking off her shoes and climbing into her own bed. Screw pajamas. She was already wearing sweats and a tee shirt; and it's not like she was going to take off her clothes while Peter was in her room. Coherent of not.

"Good night, dumbass," she called out into the dark. "I won, you lost. I am the winner. I will never let you forget this, Peter Pan. Never."


	5. Chapter 5

Tony appeared back through Jane's ceiling a little after ten in the morning to find Jane reading on her bed. He climbed down onto a stack of boxes and jumped down to the floor. "Good morning!"

"It's hardly morning anymore," Jane said, raising an eyebrow. "I was under the impression you'd be back to retrieve the drunk a bit earlier than this. Did you oversleep?"

"Yes." Tony looked guiltily at his shoes. "It's just, like, it started snowing outside, and I know I didn't actually have to go outside to get down here, but it just felt too cold to get out of bed. And I don't really set an alarm on weekends, and usually it's Peter who's up early. I'm not really a morning person. Or a night person. Actually if I had it my way, I'd sleep for like fifteen hours a day. But anyways, I'm really sorry 'bout being late and all."

"Well fine, I suppose you are forgiven," Jane said with a laugh.

"Thanks," he said gratefully. He looked around the room. "So… how's it going?"

Jane jerked a thumb towards her bathroom. "Why don't you ask your friend Pukey over there?"

"Yo Pukey," Tony called, "how's it going?"

He received only a groan in response.

Tony winced. "Jeez, that doesn't sound good. I assume he was sick?"

"Pretty much the whole night," Jane responded. "And then the whole morning. He's so hung over; it's really pathetic."

Tony frowned. "Well I can't exactly bring Peter back up to our room if he's still sick; we don't have a bathroom. And we can't exactly bring him to nurse or he'll get suspended for drinking."

"What? I thought you were going to take his drunken ass back upstairs in the morning. We had a deal!"

"I'm sorry!" Tony protested. "But I don't want to get him in trouble!"

"That's so unfair," Jane grumbled.

"Do you want me to watch him down here?" Tony offered. "I was kind of supposed to volunteer with his little sister's day care class, but I could probably cancel."

"No you go," Jane sighed. "You have a prior commitment. You babysit Tinkerbelle; I can babysit Peter."

"Thank you so much. I owe you one!" Tony edged back towards the ceiling vent. "Um, I'm actually running a little bit late for that volunteer thing I mentioned, so I should probably get going…"

"You are terrible at planning," Jane yelled at him at he climbed into the air duct. He flashed her one last grin before replacing the grating and disappearing into the darkness.

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Jane drooped at the prospect of watching an ill Peter the whole day. She glumly crossed her room and opened the door to her bathroom. Peter was curled into a ball on the floor with an arm thrown over his face. Jane leaned against the doorframe. "Well, it looks like it's just you and me, mate. Depressing as that is."

Peter curled himself even tighter. "Shhh."

"Fine," Jane whispered. "I'll be try to be quiet."

"I'm cold," Peter complained. "I need a blanket or something."

Jane rolled her eyes and grabbed a throw blanket and an extra pillow off the end of her bed. She tossed them next to Peter. "This is just sad. You're such a wimp."

"Shut it; I'm dying. As this is your fault."

"For the last time, it is not," Jane argued. "Nobody made you make a stupid bet and drink yourself into oblivion. It's not _my_ fault you have poor judgment and can't hold your alcohol."

"If you don't whisper, I'll be forced to stab you," Peter hissed. "And it was totally you're fault; you coerced me."

"That's no way to talk to the person who's going to be stuck mothering you all day," Jane scolded. "My bed side manner directly correlates with your behavior."

Peter wrapped himself in the blanket and leaned up against the bathtub. "You are nothing like my mother."

Jane huffed. "Well I'm sorry I'm can't-"

"No that's a compliment," Peter interrupted hoarsely.

"You don't even like your own parents?" Jane asked.

"More like they don't like me."

Jane sat down beside him. "What do you mean? Of course they like you. They're your parents."

"Try telling them that. My mother and father care more about cocktail parties and private jets than actually caring for their children."

"Wait you have a private jet?" Jane asked excitedly.

Peter glared at her. "It belongs to my dad's company, but for all practical purposes: yes, we have a plane. And a boat. And a huge ass mansion just outside LA. What my family lacks in affection it makes up for in wealth."

"Wow," Jane mused. "I'd heard you were loaded, but a plane and a boat? That's just impressive."

"Well, I don't really get to use any of our stuff," Peter replied. "My parents have been shipping me to boarding school for years, and even when I was little I always got stuck at home with a nanny. Like, apparently we have a vacation home in Vail that I've never been to, and a racehorse I've never seen."  
"That blows."

"Yes it does," Peter agreed, rubbing his eyes. "Whatever though, I don't really need anything anyways. My parents don't like me, so what? I can take care of myself."

Jane smirked. "Says the boy who's lying on the floor of my bathroom; too weak to get himself a blanket."

"This doesn't count; I'm still standing by the argument that this is your fault."

"Is not," Jane retorted. "And you've got to stop talking like your some kind of lone wolf. I don't think I've ever met anyone who needs such constant affirmation from his friends. It's a bit sad, really."

"I don't do that!" Peter argued. "And besides, they all have their own stuff to deal with. Like the Twins have divorced parents and live in two houses in different states when they aren't at school. And Cubby gets picked on a bunch because he's a total dork. And Slightly's parents are constantly on his case. And Nibs is here on scholarship. And we're all like eighty-five/ninety percent sure Toodles is gay."

Jane nodded. "Yeah, I'd kind of suspected about Tony, but I felt like it'd be bad to bring it up."

"We had a group meeting about it in like eighth grade," Peter said. "We're all cool with it. But anyways, everyone has enough issues of their own to handle without worrying about my sucky life."

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't have it so easy either," Jane told him. "My dad's stationed in Afghanistan until June. I haven't seen him in over a year. My mum keeps telling us he's going to be fine, and he's a doctor who presumably isn't getting shot at, but you can't ever be sure. My little brother, Danny, believes every word she says, but I'm old enough to know she can't really know that he'll be okay. And then my mum and Danny are all alone back home, and I don't know if they'll be okay either, even though that doesn't even make sense as they aren't in any danger whatsoever. I don't know; I just worry."

Peter winced and closed his eyes. "Well at least your family will love you once you see them again."

"It's not a competition, jerk."

"If it was I would win," he said. "I mean, it's really, really terrible that your Dad's in the army, and even though you said he's probably going to be fine, that's still scary. It also sucks that you're really far from home and you're worried about your mom and your brother. It probably feels terrible to miss your family. I don't miss my parents. I'm angry at them, and disappointed, I guess, but I definitely don't miss them. And my parents certainly don't miss me; or Tink either. Did you know the main reason they chose this school was because it's one of the only boarding schools in the country that accepts elementary school students? I can understand dislike for their angry teenager, but what kind of person ships off their six-year-old? That really pisses me off."

"Okay," Jane responded after a while. "You can win if it makes you feel better."

"It doesn't." Peter scowled. "I still have self-absorbed parents, a little sister to worry about, and a hangover on top of everything. I feel so fucking sick; I think I might die, and I'm afraid that I won't."

"I repeat: that's your own fault. But your life isn't all bad, you know. You go to a nice school, even if the headmaster's a maniac; you make pretty good marks; you're captain of the football team, or soccer, or whatever you call it; your little sister is a sweet heart; and you've got a pretty fantastic crew of friends. So maybe your mum and dad don't give a damn about you, but Peter, you have a pretty decent life. But the hangover you're stuck with. Can't flip that into a positive light."

Peter groaned and sat up onto his knees.

"You alright?" Jane asked.

"Nah I think 'm gonna puke again." He coughed. "Yep, definitely gonna puke again."

Jane stood up quickly. "Well that's disgusting. I'm going to get you a Gatorade, because you're probably dehydrated and also I pity you."

She was sure he would have thanked her if he wasn't busy throwing up. After all, they did just have a pretty detailed heart-to-heart. Even if Peter was probably only talking about his life at all because he was sickly and sleep deprived, Jane logged all the information down in her brain anyways. The tragic back story made him seem almost… like a decent human being.

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Upon actually getting outside, Jane realized getting Peter something to drink might have been a more extravagant favor than she'd thought, due to the snow blowing sideways in the air. She decided to make a run for the dining hall, but was still ended up covered in snow by the time she got there. Jane shook off her boots and pulled open the door.

"Hey Jane!" A voice greeted her from inside a swarm of screaming six-year-olds. The voice belonged to Tony, whose volunteer job had led him and his group of small children to the dining hall. From what Jane could see, they appeared to be doing a craft.

"Oh hello." Jane smiled. "I like your crown."

Tony adjusted his sequined and feathered construction-paper headdress. "Yeah, it's pretty snazzy, right? I'm the king of our spaceship, so obviously I need the crown, though apparently there's talk that I'm actually an evil alien who's planning to overthrow the kingdom, so I might be dethroned. Ya' know; I'm just rolling with it."

"Space politics can be tough," Jane commented.

"Yeah," Tony agreed, pausing momentarily to hand a juice box to a boy in light-up sneakers. "Well, how's Peter doing?"

"He was throwing up when I left," Jane answered. "I'm actually here to get him a Gatorade or something."

"Are you talking about Peter?" Tinkerbelle suddenly appeared next to Tony's legs. "Why is he barfing?"

"Uh, your brother's feeling sick," Tony told her. "But don't worry; he'll be good as new by tomorrow. Or Monday, maybe."

Tink nodded knowingly. "Did he eat too much Halloween candy?"

"Something like that," Tony answered. "But Jane's taking good care of him, right?"

"For sure," Jane said automatically.

Tinkerbelle gasped. "We need to make him a card! So he'll feel better!"

She immediately rushed over to the craft table and grabbed some tape and a pair of safety scissors. "Where's the glitter glue? Somebody better give me the glitter glue or else!"

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"Your sister says to get well soon," Jane announced from the doorway of her bedroom. She took off her hat, coats, and boots and threw them down by the door. "She made a card and everything."

When she was greeted with silence, she approached the bathroom. "Peter?"

Peter was wrapped in the blanket, fast asleep, on the floor. It was probably a good sign that he was sleeping, so Jane decided not to wake him up. He hadn't slept since the day before anyways, and between the partying and drinking, he was probably exhausted. Jane set the card and the Gatorade next to him and tiptoed out of the room, shutting the door softly behind her.


	6. Chapter 6

Slowly but surely, the semester began to draw to a close. The weather got colder, and Jane was given a space heater to keep her basement warm. In the blink of an eye, it was nearly Thanksgiving.

"I don't understand why you have a vacation now," Jane complained. "I mean tomorrow you all go home for a week, come back for finals, and then go back home for Christmas. It just doesn't make sense."

"Well people want to spend thanksgiving with their families," Will explained, "and Hook refuses to link the two breaks. I mean arguably it would be like six weeks off of school, which would be awesome, but incredibly long. Anyways, to answer your question; yes, we go home for a week, we come back for two weeks, and then we go back home for three weeks."

Jane huffed. "It doesn't even make sense that Thanksgiving is such a big deal. I mean, big whoop, you had a meal with the native people, why do you feel the need to celebrate it every year? It's like every other week you people have another holiday, like I get up and everyone's all like 'Happy United States Day! We need to don the traditional hats and sing the national anthem. God Bless America!'. Seriously, it's getting pretty old."

"That's sounds about accurate," Simon agreed. "We do have an absurd amount of holidays. But, hey, at least we get school off."

"Does it really count if I have to stay at school?" Jane wasn't going to be flying home for Thanksgiving. She didn't see a point in flying across the world for one week, especially because there wasn't any holiday in London, so she'd be spending eight days with only her mother and be jetlagged nearly the entire time. The school allowed students to stay in their dorms over Thanksgiving break (though not over winter break, for some reason) and provided meals and occasional group activities. Students also had to check in twice daily with a teacher so the school could confirm with parents that their children were, in fact, being looked after. Jane was not really looking forward to it.

"It's not like I have it that much better," Bobby protested. "I have to spend Thanksgiving at my grandmother's house, with almost my entire extended family, which basically means I get to be interrogated by all of my relatives about where I'm going to college and when I'm going to get a girlfriend."

"Well Max and I have to spend the first four days with my dad and his twenty two year old girlfriend," Nick said, "and then drive seven hours to our mom's place and listen to her complain about our dad."

"Typical Johnson family vacation," Max added sarcastically. "Sounds fun, right?"

"I'm going to have to sleep on a pull-out couch in my own house because my uncle got released from prison and now lives in my bedroom," Will said.

Simon nodded. "My parents are going to lecture me on the importance of getting into a good college, and then force me to practice violin for four hours a day."

"My parents are dragging me up to our ski house, and then they're going to make me ski." Tony shuddered. "Every single year, I'm forced to fall down a mountain in a ridiculous snow suit for an entire week. I always try to back out, and they always shame me into going. It's torture."

"Well, I guess I'm the lucky one. I get to stay here and bond with my good pal, Jane Darling." Peter wrapped an arm around her, which she quickly shoved off. Like Jane, Peter wasn't going home over break. His parents were going on a cruise to some island in Indonesia, which left Peter and Tinkerbelle stuck at school. With Jane. And none of the other Lost Boys. Basically, it was Jane's own personal version of hell.

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The feeling of dread set in almost directly after the last car pulled away from the school. Sure, there were other kids staying over the break, but not kids she knew, or kids Peter knew. It might as well have been just Jane and Peter alone in the school.

"Looks like it's just you and me then." Peter grinned. "Are you ready to become besties?"

Jane looked at him in disgust. "Ew. No. Why? I'm… I'm going back to bed. Just… no."

"You don't want to hang out with me?" Peter put a hand over his heart. "Ouch. That hurts."

"I don't like you." Jane walked back to her dorm. This week was going to be even longer then she'd feared.

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Jane spent the first two days of break pretty much sleeping the whole time, partially because she was tired from week after week of classes and partially because she could. Peter actually didn't come banging through her ceiling, mostly because she'd threatened to hit him with a baseball bat if he disturbed her rest. But by Monday, she was feeling completely rested and felt obligated to reemerge into the public. Of course, Peter pounced on her the moment she left her room. "Hey Jane-a-nator. Long time no see."

"If you don't cool it with the dumb nicknames, I swear to God I will end you."

"Well someone's feeling feisty today. Luckily, I have found us something to do."

Jane cocked her head. "What do you mean? What are we doing?"

"I'm taking you down to the lower school to visit my sister," Peter said. "My sister is the only kid below sixth grade who's stuck at school over break. The stay-over-break thing isn't actually supposed to apply to elementary schoolers, but my parent bought the school a library a few years back, so rules don't actually apply to them. Long story short, Tink is playing alone with a teacher all day. Because I feel bad for her, I've been going to hang out with her, but she claims I am 'bad at playing' because of my 'boy energy'. So I figured it would be better if you came along too."

"Fine, I'll do it."

Peter's face lit up. "Really? Great! Follow me then."

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It was rather depressing to see Tinkerbelle trying on princess dresses all by herself, but she immediately cheered up when Peter walked through the door. She dropped the feather boa she was holding and bolted across the room to greet them.

"Hey, Tink," Peter smiled, giving his little sister a hug. "How's it going?"

Tinkerbelle pulled away from Peter and eyed Jane suspiciously. "Why did you bring that girl?"

"Jane is going to play with us today."

"Well if she stays, you have to promise to play with me, and not with her, okay?"

Peter laughed. "Of course."

"No, really promise," Tink insisted. "Whenever you bring a girl, you always say you'll pay attention to me, and then I turn my back and you're kissing her on the mouth. So you need to pinky promise me you won't start kissing this Jane girl on the mouth when you think I can't see you. Because I see everything."

"Aside from that vaguely threatening remark," Jane said. "You really don't have to worry about that, because I will never, ever kiss your brother. Ever. I'm feeling a little bit repulsed just imagining that actually."

"We're definitely not going to date," Peter added. "I don't think we'd actually be classified as friends,"

"More like… unfriendly acquaintances. Or foes."

"Well that's a relief." Tinkerbelle walked back over to dress up box. "Now you both need fabulous outfits; we're going to a ball."


	7. Chapter 7

"Something is missing," Tinkerbelle stated, putting her hands on her hips. "Help me out here, what's missing?"

"More glitter?" Jane asked.

"No, that's not it… something else." She clapped her hands together. "I know! Lipstick. How do we feel about purple?"

"Please not purple lipstick," Peter groaned. "Haven't you done enough?"

Tinkerbelle rolled her eyes and began rooting through the make-up. "Don't be stupid. Of course you need purple lips."

"Oh yes, I agree completely." Jane struggled to keep from laughing. "You're nowhere near finished, Peter. We need you looking great for the Royal Flower Festival; it's only the biggest social event in the kingdom."

"Jane, when this is over, I am going to take a fork and stab y-"

"Found it!" Tinkerbelle chorused, holding a gold tube of lipstick. "Now, shut up so I can put this on."

Jane thought Peter had far too much death in his eyes for someone who was letting his little sister to do his makeup. It had taken a lot of persuasion, but Peter had eventually accepted Tinkerbelle's requests. Jane had to give the kid some credit; Tinkerbelle was incredibly persistent. She'd whined, attempted blackmail, and even cried; though her tears had cleared up suspiciously fast when Peter finally gave in. Since then, Peter had been decked out in a striped vest, an overcoat, a tie, and a feather boa worn as a sash. Peter and Tinkerbelle's parents may have been distant and neglectful, but they certainly kept Tink's dress-up box well-furnished.

"Now for the finishing touch…" Tinkerbelle pinned a flower into Peter's hair and took a step back to examine him. "He's perfect! This must be some of my best work yet."

"He's gorgeous," Jane agreed. Peter flipped her off while Tink wasn't looking.

Tinkerbelle turned to Jane. "Alright, your turn, Jane."

Jane raised her eyebrows. "Wait, me!?"

"Oh yes," Peter exclaimed, pushing Jane into the chair. "Yes, yes this is going to be fun. Karma's a bitch, isn't it Janey?"

"Language," Tinkerbelle reminded. "I have little ears!"

"Sorry Tink," Peter apologized, grinning manaically. "Just super pumped is all."

The little girl nodded. "Understandible. She is going to be the most beautiful!"

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"Almost finished…" Tink said.

"Are you sure?" Peter asked. "Couldn't we, like, draw a cockroach on her face or something?"

Tinkerbelle looked at him like he was crazy. "Nooo… Why in the world would we do that?"

"Cause she doesn't even look that bad!" Peter complained. "I look like some kind of circus hobo, and she just looks-"

"Like a princess," Tink finished. "There, I'm finished. You look beautiful, darling. You'd better hurry, or you two will be late to the party!"

Jane looked in a mirror and laughed. She wore a red velvet dress over her tee shirt and jeans, a silver belt, a tiara, and in addition to about a pound of cheap eye shadow she had a rhinestone flower glued to her cheek. Tinkerbelle clasped her hands together and admired her two makeovers. "You two look marvelous. Now you have to go to the party."

"Aren't you coming to the party?" Peter asked. "You are the princess, right."

Tinkerbelle smacked her hand to her forehead. "Oh my god, Peter. I'm not the princess_ now_. Right now, I'm the famous fashion designer, Lady Victoria Stardust, who's disguised as a maid. Princess Tinkerbelle is on a secret mission to retrieve the stolen diamonds from the evil Lord Brussel Sprout, which I will be acting out tomorrow."

"Well sorry," Peter said. "Your little game is the most complicated story that has ever been told."

"I know," Tinkerbelle said. "And I play a lot of roles, so you're going to have to learn to keep up."

Peter sighed.

"Okay, now you are at the ball." Tinkerbelle pulled an IPhone and a speaker out of a bag and put on some music. "Jane is Princess Janine Sparklemore of the Candy Cane Kingdom, and Peter is Prince Percival the Brave from the Island of Stars. There is a deep rivalry between your two kingdoms because of the war, and you don't like each other."

"Not hard to imagine that," Peter whispered. Jane smirked.

"Prince Percival is expected to marry soon, because his brother just turned evil and murdered his father, who was the king of the Island of the Stars. Princess Janine is in line for the throne because her parents were possessed by demons and killed, but she's considering fleeing the Candy Cane Kingdom because there are rumors that the people are going to overthrow her and lock her in the dungeon to rot."

"Good god, where do you get this stuff?" Jane asked. "This is the bloodiest imaginary history I've ever heard."

"Peter says the Disney Channel is for losers," Tinkerbelle supplied. "So instead we watch his shows. I like Game of Thrones, the best. Also Breaking Bad."

Jane swatted Peter's arm. "She's six, Peter! Breaking Bad is about meth, and Game of Thrones is practically porn!"

"Hey, I show her other stuff too," Peter protested. "Like Supernatural and Downton Abbey and Sherlock and stuff, it's not my fault she likes the drug show and the medieval sex show best!"

"Like any of those shows are much better," Jane scoffed. "Just because you have great taste in TV programs doesn't give the excuse to show them to a kindergartener!"

"AHEM!" Tinkerbelle interrupted. "May I finish the backstory?"

Jane frowned disapprovingly at Peter, but nodded and fell silent.

"So Prince Percival wanted to dance with Madame Cupcake, but she shot him down because she is madly in love with Katrina the Space Captain. Then he tried to dance with her sister Madame Dragonfire, but she turned him down because she just turned into a werewolf and is concerned about hurting those around her when she turns."

"Jeez, I'm having no luck tonight," Peter commented.

"But then," Tinkerbelle gasped, "enters Princess Janine! And Prince Percival sees her and realizes she's the most beautiful girl in the whole party. In the whole world, in fact! And he rushes across the ball room to ask her for a dance! Now this is where you to begin your parts. Annnnnnnd action!"

"Hold up, cut! Wait a second," Jane interrupted. "I thought the whole point of bringing me here was to _not_ date him. So… what's up with this little plot twist."

"I'm not sure I see what the problem is." Tinkerbelle looked confused. "You guys aren't getting married; you're just pretending to dance together. It's acting, duh!"

"But… that's so weird," Peter complained.

"There's no need to get so defensive. If you two feel absolutely no romantic attraction towards each other, then this should be even easier because it's completely pretend." She blinked. "Right guys?"

Peter heaved a huge sigh. "Whatever. Let's do this thing. Where were we, Tink?"

"You two are dancing together," Tinkerbelle reminded.

Peter stepped forward and awkwardly placed his hands around Jane's waist. Jane, however, stood frozen, unsure what she was supposed to be doing.

"Put your hands on his shoulders," Tinkerbelle instructed.

Jane put her hands on his shoulders, which was difficult as he was so much taller than her.

"Now move around in really slow circles."

They shuffled around, and Jane almost immediately stepped on Peter's foot. And his other foot. And her own foot.

"Alright, maybe we should just stick to swaying for the time being," Peter suggested. "Princess Klutzy can't seem to figure out walking."

"Oh I'm so sorry I don't know how to dance," Jane said sarcastically. "I don't have any time to take dance classes."

"Peter took four years of cotillion," Tinkerbelle added. "Mom and Dad said that if he became a gentleman, they might be able to take him places with them. It didn't work I don't think, cause he still gets left home with me, but he does know ballroom dancing."

"Exactly!" Jane cried. "You can't expect me to be as good as Professional Dancer Boy over here! I'm new to this."

"Well it's not like we're doing the waltz, we're just walking together. You're just abnormally clumsy."

"Try and pretend like you love each other," Tinkerbelle put in. "You can get a little closer together; she's a princess, not a nun."

"This is just pathetic," Peter said. "Here's what's going to happen. I'm essentially going to drag you around the room, and you are going to hang on the best you can, alright? Believe me, after four years of forced dance classes, I know what I'm doing. Just… follow my lead, okay?"

"Fine," Jane replied, gripping his neck.

And then they were dancing. Peter wouldn't look at her, and his face was redder than his hair, but his hands were firm around her waist and he took each step with confidence. They glided across the linoleum floor of the first grade classroom looking almost as if even Jane knew what she was doing. Soon they were both in hysterics. Then Peter attempted to dip her, and she slipped on one of her shoes and brought them both down in one swift motion, and reducing the once graceful pair into a tangle of legs and arms and laughter.

"That was perfect!" Tinkerbelle exclaimed. "Except for the falling down part, but the rest was just great! Jane, I was hesitant about your make-believe abilities at first, but you really sealed the deal with this performance. Bravo!"

Jane blew her bangs out of her eyes. "You flatter me. It's just such an honor to work with such talented people. And your idiot brother too."

"Says the girl who tripped over her own foot and dragged me down with her," Peter said. He checked his cell phone. "Oh, it's nearly dinner, we should probably get going."

"Already?" Jane asked. The day had passed far quicker than she'd thought it would. "Well I guess we'd better get a move on."

Tinkerbelle looked crestfallen. "You're leaving? But… you'll come back tomorrow, right?"

"Definitely, Tink," Peter replied, tossing dress up clothes into the bin and wiping his makeup off with his sleeve. "We'll be back, right Jane?"

"Yeah, sure," Jane said.

"Good!" Tinkerbelle exclaimed tugging on one of her blonde pigtails. "Because tomorrow Princess Tinkerbelle, who is me, is stealing back the diamonds, remember? And I need you two to play evil trolls."

"How could I turn down an offer like that?" Jane laughed. "I'll see you tomorrow, I guess."

Tinkerbelle's face lit up like the sun. "Yay! Now we can all play together!"


	8. Chapter 8

The students were due back to school the following Saturday. Jane's week with Peter hadn't been nearly as horrible as she'd feared; they mostly just watched TV and hung around with Tinkerbelle, but one more day and Jane would have killed someone. Probably herself.

The boys were not returned in the greatest condition:

Max and Nick seemed frazzled and on edge from a week spent peace-keeping between their parents.

Bobby was in a bad mood after being cooped up in a house with his entire judgmental extended family.

Simon, who'd been forced to spend his entire break doing homework and practicing clarinet into the late hours of the night, was exhausted.

Will was completely freaked out, as apparently his just-out-of-prison uncle had suffered a nervous break and almost burned their house down.

And Tony had suffered an accident while skiing, returning to school with a dislocated shoulder, a broken wrist, and eight stiches in his face.

"You lot look absolutely dreadful," Jane told them later as they sat around her basement. "I mean, I knew you said that your breaks weren't going to be a total breeze, but I never thought it would be _this_ bad."

Simon groaned. "I need a vacation from that vacation. I think I'm going to spend tomorrow sleeping."

"I have to volunteer with the kindergarteners," Tony grumbled. "That's gonna be super fun with a cast and a sling."

"That sucks, man," Peter agreed, opening up a soda.

Jane patted Tony's non-dislocated arm. "I'll come along to help out, alright?"

"I'll come too," Peter added suddenly.

Jane stared at him. "You didn't want to come a second ago."

"Did too!" Peter argued. "I just forgot until you brought it up."

"Uh huh, you keep telling yourself that."

Peter responded by flipping her off.

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"Jeez Tony what'd you _do _to yourself?" Tinkerbelle shrieked.

Tony sighed. "I fell."

"What did you fall off a cliff!?"

"Well, yeah actually," Tony explained. "I was skiing."

Tink frowned. "You must really suck at skiing."

"Very true."

"Could I decorate your cast?" Tinkerbelle asked eagerly. "I could make your cripple arm look really fabulous if I could just get my hands on some sharpies."

"C'mon Toodles," Peter coaxed. "You can't just walk around school with an un-fabulous cripple arm."

"Definitely not," Jane agreed. "That would just be a style mistake."

"Fine!" Tony gave in. "You can color on my cast! There are some markers over in the art cart."

Tinkerbelle threw her arms around his neck. "Thank you!"

Tony winced. "Careful of the dislocated shoulder."

Tinkerbelle skipped over to the rolling cart full of markers and Popsicle sticks and glue. She quickly assembled a team of her friends to assist her in her art project. Jane smiled. "You poor thing. Do you want me to get you something to eat while they decorate you?"

"A coke and a cookie," Tony sighed. "You can find them in the fridge in the kitchen."

"Like I don't know where they keep the food," Jane laughed.

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By the time she got back, Tony was engulfed within a swarm of Sharpie-wielding five-year olds while Peter sat perched atop a table watching in amusement. Jane waded her way through the sea of tiny bodies and handed Tony his snack. "Well they got right to work, didn't they?"

"Looks like it," he shrugged. "I guess broken bones are pretty exciting."

Jane squinted at a spot on his arm. "Some kid wrote 'fuck you' in huge block letters."

"Nah that was me," Peter said, grinning.

Jane rolled her eyes. "Hilarious."

"STOP!" Tinkerbelle shouted. Everybody froze. "He's perfect. Oh, will you look at that color scheme. Beautiful. Tony, what do you think?"

"It's great," Tony said with a smile. "I love it. Thanks guys."

"There you have it," Tink announced. "Another happy customer. Alright; you may resume your regular playtime activities. Good work people."

As the other kids dispersed to play and do puzzles and color, Tinkerbelle popped up next to them. "Hi guys."

"Hi," they chorused in near unison.

Tinkerbelle climbed up onto the table and into Peter's lap. "How's life for all of you?"

"I'd say it's going pretty good," Jane said. "Kind of bummed that we have to go back to class tomorrow, but it's only for two weeks, so it's manageable."

"Oh I know!" Tinkerbelle nodded emphatically. "And on the next break, we actually get to go home and see mommy and daddy, right Peter?"

"Yeah Tink," Peter answered. He pantomimed shooting himself in the head when his sister couldn't see.

Tinkerbelle turned to Tony. "How about you? Aside from the broken arms and legs and stuff."

"Ah, you know. Same old, same old."

"Don't be boring," Tinkerbelle scolded. "There must be _something _interesting going on in your life. Did you join any clubs? Are you getting a haircut? Have you learned how to cook? Did you get a boyfriend?"

Oh god.

"No, I'm not gay," Tony laughed, though he'd lost all color in his face.

Tinkerbelle smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Come on, buddy. Let's be honest."

Tony stood up abruptly. "I have to go down to the library. I just remembered."

"No need to get so touchy," Tinkerbelle said. "You just don't seem like the girlfriend type."

"You don't know anything!" he snapped. "Just leave me alone."

Tony stormed out the room, slamming the door behind him. Tinkerbelle looked completely bewildered. "What's his problem?"

"Tink, I know you were just asking, but you can't just go around telling people they're gay. It's kind of a sensitive subject."

She was still confused. "But… no one cares on Torchwood."

"Seriously Peter; you let her watch Torchwood too? Are you-" Jane stopped. "Oh, never mind. That's an issue for another time. Anyways, yes, nobody cares on Torchwood; but this isn't a TV show. In real life, people care."

"Why?" she asked.

"Some people think it's wrong for a boy to love a boy or a girl to love a girl," Peter explained.

"How the heck can_ love_ be wrong?" Tinkerbelle asked, baffled. "It's like, the rightest thing you can do!"

Peter nodded. "I agree completely. But there are some people who insist that only a boy and a girl should love each other, and they say some pretty mean things to people who don't fit that mold. So sometimes it's hard for a person to tell the world that they're different, because they're scared of being judged."

"People like Tony," Tinkerbelle finished.

"Exactly." Peter looked at Jane. "We should probably go find him."

"Wait, but if you two leave," Tinkerbelle said, "who will watch us kids?"

"Uh, you will," Jane told her, following Peter out the door. "You're in charge."

"You mean…" Tinkerbelle's face lit up. "Like the queen?"

"Sure whatever. Don't set anything on fire."

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They found Tony brooding in a corner of one of the hallways, scowling angrily at a wall.

"There you are," Jane said.

Tony glared at them. "Fuck off."

"C'mon, man." Peter slid down next to him. "Don't be like that. You know Tink didn't mean to upset you; she's barely six."

"I'm not upset," Tony argued. "I was just annoyed by all those snotty little kids. Why should I be upset? I'm not."

"Well… it's like the first time anybody's, you know, said _that_ aloud," Jane said.

"Jesus I'm not gay!" Tony shot back. "Just cause I don't have a girlfriend doesn't mean you should jump to those conclusions!"

Peter shifted uncomfortably. "Dude, I mean, you let me use your computer when mine runs out of battery. You're not that careful with your browser history, if you know what I mean."

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. "God damn it, Peter. Can't you mind your own business?"

"Nobody's judging you," Jane put in. "We just want you to be honest."

Tony wouldn't look at either of them. "Have you told anyone?"

"No," Peter answered. "Well, the Lost Boys all know, but they kind of figured it out themselves."

"When?"

"Um, beginning of the eighth grade," Peter estimated. "Or that's when we all discussed it, anyways."

"_Three years ago_?" Tony asked incredulously. "You had an actual, formal discussion and you never brought it up!?"

"I've only known since October," Jane added.

"It's seriously _that_ obvious?"

"No," Jane said. "It's just when you spend a lot of time with a person, you get to know them pretty well. It's not like someone would know the second they met you."

"Though the gay porn on your computer was a pretty big tip off," Peter added. "Again, I insist you start clearing the history on your laptop. I know you're not that techie, but that's some pretty scarring stuff for your poor roommate to stumble upon."

"I don't understand how you could have 'stumbled upon' something like that," Jane speculated. "I mean, you must have been doing some hardcore snooping."

Tony groaned. "I haven't even told my parents."

"You don't have to tell them now, but they'll need to know eventually," Jane said. "It would be kind of unfair to just come home one day married to a dude with no explanation."

"Maybe I could email them," Tony suggested. "That way I don't actually have to have a conversation."

"Well, that's one option," Jane agreed. "We'll keep thinking."

Tony frowned. "If you two are both here, then who's watching the kids?"

"I may have left Tinkerbelle in charge," Jane answered. "I should… probably go back and handle that. Tony, you can have the rest of the day off after all of the trauma we just put you through."

"Thanks," Tony offered as Jane raced back down the hallway.

Jane burst through the doors to find Tinkerbelle standing on a table, wearing a crown and a red cape and holding a yard stick as though it were a scepter. "Alright people, I'm in charge. If I say we're all going to play house, then we're all going to play house. This is not a democracy; you will obey your queen."


	9. Chapter 9

"So then, do you have a boyfriend?"

After dark, the Lost Boys (plus Jane and Will's girlfriend) had assembled in Jane's room and heard Peter, Jane, and Tony recount the day's events. Nobody was remotely surprised about the gay thing.

Tony turned bright red and inspected the floor. "Well, um, sort of."

"Oh my _god_!" Jane exclaimed. "Why didn't you mention that earlier? Who is it?"

"Okay, you guys _really_ can't tell anybody," Tony said. "Or I probably won't have a boyfriend anymore."

"Yeah, sure. Of course."

"Um, it's this guy," Tony started. "He's in our grade, but he goes to Fredrick; you know, that public K-12 up near the Costco. And um, we were kind of both at this kid's party last year. So we kind of started talking, and we were both pretty drunk, and well, long story short, we made out in a bush for like twenty minutes and decided we should make that a regular thing. So, um, we're dating, I guess."

"So _that's_ where you disappear to," Peter concluded. "I'd always wondered."

"You still haven't given us a name," Jane reminded. "Who is this kid?"

"It's, um, Liam Porterhall," Tony mumbled.

"Holy shit, seriously!?" Lily cut in excitedly. "Damn, Tony. You've got game!"

"Wait, who's Liam Porterhall?" Jane asked. "Is he hot?"

"Hell yeah, he's hot," Lily said. "Like the sun. I've met him in person a couple of time and I have definitely Facebook stalked him. He's captain of the lacrosse team and, let me tell you, that boy is a _god_." She paused and patted Will on the arm. "I'm speaking objectively, of course."

Will laughed and kissed her on the cheek. "If Liam's dating Tony, I don't think I have anything to worry about."

"Wait, Liam Porterhall is _gay_?" Max asked. "Do people know about this?"

"Noooo," Tony answered, shaking his head aggressively. "People definitely don't know. He's literally only out to me… and now you guys, I guess. Like, he is so deep in the proverbial closet that he's in Narnia. Only instead of saving the day and becoming the king like those kids in the book, Liam's hiding in another, Narnian closet. I mean, it may have taken a while for _me_ to tell you guys I'm gay, but Liam literally doesn't plan to tell anybody, ever."

"How would that even work?" Simon asked. "Like, is he going to get married to some chick and pretend he's straight for his whole life?"

"Well, no," Tony admitted. "He told me he plans to graduate and move to a secluded cabin in the woods where no one will ever find him. I don't_ think_ he's serious, but he is trying to convince me to come with him."

"Aw! He wants to run away with you?" Jane squealed. "That's so romantic… in a weird kind of way."

Tony shrugged. "Well, I don't actually want to live out my life as a hermit, but you know, we're working on it. His parents are the religious type, so it's not like they're going to be supportive, but maybe I'll convince him to come meet you guys."

"Oh my god, you totally have to!" Jane said. "I _need _to meet this kid."

"Alright, one last thing," Lily asked. "Are Liam's abs as perfect in person as they look on Facebook?"

"Ah yes," Tony said with a stupid grin. "Perhaps even more perfect."

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**A/N:**

**Hello reader!**

**This note has very little to do with chapter (sorry it's so short, but I **_**just**_** posted the last update, so give me some credit). I realized on a reread that it might be a bit confusing as to which character in this fic relates to which character in the book/movie, as I changed several names to fit with the modern setting. So below is a list of my characters and their book/movie equivalent, some of which are very obvious:**

**Peter Pan = Peter Pan (duh)**

**Jane, daughter of Wendy = Jane Darling (her last name would not actually be Darling, but I'm lazy)**

**Nibs = Will Nib**

**Slightly = Simon Haines**

**The Twins = Max and Nick Johnson**

**Cubby = Bobby Clifford**

**Toodles = Tony Dillanson (no, he was not gay in the canon, but c'mon guys, this is fanfiction. Everyone's gay in fanfiction)**

**Tiger Lily = Lily (This is one of those obscure ones I was aiming to clear up. Her last name's Taige, BTW)**

**Captain Hook = Headmaster Hook**

**Mr. Smee = Mr. Smee (mentioned only once in first chapter)**

**The Crocodile = Ms. Crock (clever, right? I thought so)**

**So the only OC's so far are Kristy Halk (mentioned as having made out with Max in chapter 4), Nancy Carmichael (mentioned as the one Nick wasn't sure he actually liked in chapter 4), and, of course, Liam Porterhall. I may introduce some others later, but they probably won't be anybody**_** too**_** important to the plot. I dunno, I'm just rolling with it :P**


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